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Bless you 😄

[ That's a joke because her nickname is Sankta! ]

before I start this off, just for the sake of getting on the same page, what's your level of familiarity with using the term "daddy" in a sexual context

Edited 2021-12-18 03:00 (UTC)

Well.

It's not something I've called Nikolai before.

[ She wonders if she needs to be more specific about her experience with the term or if Matt can glean the rest from the gaps. That is, she has maybe used it once or twice. Does it count if it was a dream? She had thought it was something her mind had spun up by itself, but in the aftermath of her shared experience with Nikolai, now she's not so sure. ]

Interesting.

I would never categorically say that someone *doesn't* have daddy energy, but it doesn't spring to the tip of my tongue for him.

[ He seems to read this reply as he and Alina sharing a definition, but of course, he texted her out of everybody. Part of that's because he figured she'd be unlikely to think it was an overture, but the rest is, you know, vibes. ]

That's not who I'm talking about though!

I met this guy here and it turns out

he is very, very daddy

Yeah?
You don't have to tell me but
How did you know?
Like what are the clues or what is he like.

There's only been

one guy. That I've said it to.
But I've been thinking about it ever since.

It's not weird right? To like it?

No! It's definitely not weird. I don't know how universal an urge it is, but it's DEFINTIELY something that people do across cultures and time periods, so

you're normal.

As for the guy himself, looking back, I'd say there are some broad daddy traits: handsome, older, a capacity for stern distance. But honestly I didn't really apply any insight so much as

call him daddy in a text message and hope it landed

which so far on Noctium I'm 50/50

[ Handsome - Check.
Older - Several checks.
A capacity for stern distance - What is infinite? The universe, the greed of man, and how well Aleksander meets basic criteria for being called daddy according to Matt. ]

Yeah, all of those sound
Like they fit.
For this guy at least.

Tell me more about your mystery man.

well ...

He's very comfortable giving orders.

As soon as we started like, getting into this groove and texting back and forth, he told me to kneel on the floor in my bedroom and wait for him.

And he did make me wait.

And then he kind of broke into my house?? And just came up right behind me and

I can't endorse that, obviously, but it was so fucking hot

So first, obligatory be safe and everything.

[ She should not be talking after all the things she engages in. ]

But ummmm very hot??
I don't know what it is about being told what to do.
I like it but I also like... not doing it too.
On purpose.

Edited 2021-12-19 03:04 (UTC)

YES

[ Alina, you're speaking his native language. ]

Not doing it on purpose is very good. But since he wasn't there to see me not doing what he told me, I did actually follow the rules until he showed up

and then there was a lot of correcting 😇

Motya, who knew you could be so good. And so bad.

Not to steal him from you but do you know if he likes girls too?

I know, I was really aiming to be on my best behavior for you and Nikolai. A good guest, you know

I don't know if he likes girls! but I'm more than happy to introduce two friends, if you're interested in that

[ Normally Matt wouldn't kiss and tell. Not with identifying features? But in this case, it's a breach of secrecy that could potentially help Alina and Aleks to have super hot sex, so it doesn't seem so bad when framed in that light.

So he sends a picture: him with his head on Aleks' shoulder, Aleksander looking dapper and severe in a suit. Matt's serious expression is clearly put on, and not nearly as effective. ]

Are you interested?

[ Alina is stupidly giddy as she waits for more details, excited at the prospect of exploring something she knew she enjoyed with a person that she has less desire to murder even after he makes her come.

But then Matt hits her with that photo and her brain short circuits for a moment.

And when she writes again, it is certainly more somber. ]

Matt.
What did this man tell you his name was?

[ It's amazing how two sentences can take the wind right out of his sails.

It's not just the somber punctuation around his name. There's also the unusual phrasing, what did he tell you, that in this context can't help but strike him as worrying. ]

Aleks

Aleksander

[ Her first thought is that any hope that this was just a strange lookalike, is quickly lost.

Her second thought is that she's almost a little insulted how loose he is with his name here, when he wouldn't deign himself to tell it to her in Ravka. Make her be his for an eternity, sure. Be honest with her? Nah. ]

Aleksander. With the username lesombres?
You need to stay away from him.
He's dangerous. And a liar.

[ Yeah, I helped him choose it, Matt thinks, but doesn't type. His brow furrows in concern. ]

What happened?

Did he do something to you?

[ No, she almost types, because her mind jumps to the kind of violence Genya had experienced at the hands of the king. No, because shamefully, she went to him. Invited Aleksander into her bed and between her legs.

But that does not have to be the whole of what Matt is asking. ]

He created Nikolai's monster.

[ And she immediately wonders if that was too much. It isn't her secret to give, but she is angry. ]

He put the collar around my neck.

And he has done much worse.

[ For a long time, Matt sits staring at the messages. He thinks maybe he's asleep and coming up with some weird psychosexual dream to work out his daddy issues through, his subconscious mind seizing on the collar Alina wears in some sort of social-circle-wide kink analysis. He's half tempted to pinch himself.

But no. The obvious answer is here, staring him in the face with all the impersonal judgment sans-serif can muster.

Matt's an idiot. ]

oh god

alina i had no idea

i wouldn;t

[ But how could he have had no idea? Nikolai told him all he needed to know: What he created were sentient shadows. And he essentially force fed me--

Shadows. Shadows brushing Matt's fingers and slipping around his eyes. Though what he's swallowed of Aleksander's he hardly needed to be force-fed. ]

It's okay.

I know you wouldn't.

You didn't know and of course he wouldn't tell you.

I was blind to him at first too.

what happened

[ That question isn't nearly specific enough, but Matt's reeling. ]

I mean I guess I don't know that much about him but

HE made the monster??

Nichevo'ya.
That's what they're called.

Monsters forged from shadows using a forbidden magic.
It's not like... what I do, where just call the light.
He can make things from it, and it's horrible.

[ Fuck. ]

Okay. I remember that from what Nikolai told me, and it did sound

horrible

[ Though Nikolai'd used a different term for it. What had it been? Matt's brain, awash in guilt and recrimination, won't conjure the memory. ]

when you say you were blind to him at first

[ Hoo boy. This is a doozy. But she knows Matt and she trusts Matt to hold all her stupid mistakes and not make too many judgements.

(And it probably doesn't hurt to know that they've both been guilty of calling him daddy.) ]

Did I ever tell you about the principles of the small science?
It's 'like calls to like.'
But there are no other sun summoners besides me.
There are no other shadow summoners like him.

He.... convinced me that we were all the other could have. That he was the only one who could ever understand what it's like, or else I would be standing alone.

[ And sometimes I still think that, she does not type. ]

I thought we were going to do good things together. Great things. For the good of Ravka.
The collar was just so he could try and take my power for himself.

[ Matt couldn't judge Alina if he wanted to. The story she tells is too familiar. If the connection between Aleks and Nikolai fills him with guilt and horror, though, this makes him angry. An emotion he doesn't feel all that often, and tries not to indulge.

But God, why are they all the same? ]

There are principles like that where I come from. Theories and things.

I'm so sorry he did that. My ex

never tried to take my power or anything, but he made me feel like that all the time. That nobody else would ever care as much as he did, nobody else would know what it was like to be who and what I was

[ To be sort of almost fair to Vincent, he didn't mean he was the literal only person who would get it. More that preternaturals had to stick together. ]

Yeah that

Sounds like Aleksander too.

He's very good at it.
Making you feel special.
But not without reminding you how lonely it can be.

[ And to be fair, he's sort of right. More than sort of, he is right. Loneliness was a truth he always showed, even if he changed the framing.

But she just has to be strong enough not to be tempted to change that. ]

What I mean is
I don't know what he said to you or how he acted towards you.
But whatever happened... I understand.
I've been there too.

[ More recently than Matt probably thinks, but she doesn't need to be that honest either. ]

Nothing like what's happened with you or Nikolai, that's for sure

[ Awkwardly, the whole truth insofar as Matt knows it is "actually Aleksander's been pretty cool to me." But he's not going to say that to Alina at this point.

Better to stick with solidarity. ]

I'm sure I don't need to say it at this point, but just in case it bears repeating

he's wrong.

I mean, in a way, even this conversation shows he's wrong.

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