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« solntse » TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION ALINA STARKOV ✦ GRISHAVERSE
RESIDENCE ✦ Emerald District
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[reznikolai]

[When she looks up, their eyes meet for just a pause. It's the worst kind of hurt, loving and not having. A stab of elation that she's there, that she's looking at him at all, swallowed up by the sharp jaws of something dwelling in his chest. Nikolai's smile falters. He hides it by ducking into a nod, emerging with a fresh grin arranged in place.]

Of course. [Plucking at his shirt, smudged with grease and singed in spots.] I'm in no state to receive a— guest right now anyway.

[Almost imperceptible, his stumbling over the word guest. As if he was about to say something else instead. A pretty girl. With seemingly careless ease he's flirted with her from the day they met, and only now does it feel strange.]

Ponchik's things are right here. [A quick gesture to the large tote bag sitting by the door.] Is the roll-up bed good enough? I thought you might get funny looks dragging a big dog bed across town.

[solmate]

[ Had part of her wished he would have pushed harder? He was relentless in pursuing her. Does he miss that? Does he miss her? In the place where she might have once felt hints of his feelings, she feels nothing. It's like trying to see out of her elbow, a sense lost that she can't put back together. All she's left with is a broken longing for trying to remember what it felt like, to share something so deeply with him. A broken longing for wanting to feel it just one more time.

She stands, slipping the loop of his leash around her wrist brushing her palms against each other idly. ]

Ah, I see. You're trying to keep your place as the favorite.

[ Covering hurt with humor. It's a trick she's picked up from him even if she doesn't realize it. She does know it's not nearly as smooth as he might have delivered it. ]

Maybe you can, uhm. Bring one. When you come to pick him up. Just so he feels even.

[ Saints, this is awkward enough. Why did she invite him to come visit her at her temporary housing. ]

[reznikolai]

[Even now, Nikolai wants to clutch at every minute he can get with her. He has missed studying Alina's face the way he studies the night sky, and teasing out her laugh, and a thousand other little things. He misses feeling the pulse of her whole being as though they're tied together by an invisible string. Something is still there, but it's frayed beyond providing any surety when he reaches for it.

He knows those moments are long gone, and trying to cobble them together from the broken pieces is a fool's errand. It will only invite the aching in his chest to spread its jaws wider.

All he can do is act like it doesn't hurt. He forces an amused scoff.]

We both know you're the favorite. You could give him a pile of newspapers to sleep on and he'd still adore you.

[Who kept Ponchik company while Nikolai was at work for all those hours? Proving his point, the dog hasn't removed his attention from Alina since she arrived. He paces all around her, tail wagging and tongue lolling as he points his big puppy eyes at her.]

But I'll bring a bed when I come by.

[Think of it as a business transaction. Nothing more. Nevertheless, he's grateful for Ponchik, because without the need to trade the dog back and forth, he wouldn't know when he'd see Alina again.]

[solmate]

[ That is... probably true. Even if the dog was Nikolai's idea, Ponchik had made himself a comfortable spot in Alina's heart. A companion throughout the day, napping in the sun filtering through the windows, slobbering on her as she tossed his ball in the yard for what could be hours, rolling around and exploring the sights and smells of whatever part of the city Alina wanted to sketch from that day.

Ponchik certainly would take whatever scraps of attention he could get, and was it really that long ago Alina was any different? But it's cruel to even consider, even as a joke. Their dog deserves better. Now if only she could think the same of herself. ]

Yeah. Just let me know when that will be, I guess. [ A brief pause. It's tough enough seeing him now. Her eyes darting down to the dog instead, her hand wrapping tightly around the leash. Broken pieces of something she can't put back together again. ] Someone is usually home, and I'll let everyone know you aren't committing any pet thievery.